I'm outta the woods...who's been searching?

 
I took a long journey of discovering how to make raw cash the rough way. It's called business. So I registered a business name, since when? 2012 maybe. I can't remember, but it's been a couple of years. I romanced Corporate Affairs Commission - learnt a few things and tricks at the CAC. I even wanted to become a lawyer after visiting the CAC Corporate Office in Abuja a few times. I saw young people trying to survive this very hard country - many of them lawyers.

I bought Chinua Achebe's There Was A Country on one of such visits. But these people in Abuja - how do they survive sef? The book sold for N4000 in Abuja and imagine my disappointment when I discovered it sold for N1500 in Aba - same time well different spaces but hey what could I do with the N2500 difference? So much, including buying another book. Abuja, take your time oh! In the same vein, I wondered how I survived Boston because the fellas in Dallas thought it was one hell of an expensive city, I mean Boston. But I looooooooooovveeeeeeeeee BEANTOWN. If anything was expensive, we surely knew how to make it affordable. I loved eating burrito and I blame my weight gain on it. Thanks Qdoba - it was such a splendid adventure. I miss you all.

So, that job that got me crying and all. Hmm...I'm out of the woods with it. I'm almost done with running the copies. My dream now is to become or grow into a huge document management center like Konica when I grow up. Yes, I loved visiting Konica when I was in Houston and Dallas, such fun times. When I grow up, I hope to be able to run my nongovernmental organization like the UN. Hmm...when I grow up....My next birthday is next month so I have a few weeks to growing up.

I wanted to put up something unsavory but still important but that can wait. I love blogging and can't wait to invite the first commenter on this blog to my birthday next month. We shall see. Shall we be done with nostalgia and day dreaming and count our blessings instead? Thanks for visiting my rant page.

Correction: I came in to correct this - I make the retarded mistake of mistaking Konica for Kinkos. Perhaps I saw Konica machines at Kinkos and that has somehow remained with me. So, please note, I believe the shops I visited (a few times) were named Kinkos, owned by FedEx, I believe and not Konica. Chei! Growing up things...hehe.

Trouble dey sleep, iyanga go wake am

I thought that I knew the meaning of DISTRAUGHT until I really had cause to be distraught. Chei! It hasn't been easy. I've been cutting my teeth on this examination questions stuff for a while now; typing out questions for the internal examinations of schools in Aba for the first time. I didn't have many projects - just a few schools. But my computer developed cold feet in working with me and I brought somebody to fix it, which I chronicled in my last post here. In my paranoia, I moved my files to a flash drive hoping to work on the go. Alas! It happened that one night as I was alighting from my Keke Napep ride, it was late in the night, I opened my bag to pay the fare only to drop the flash drive. Hmm...I went home to start looking for it. When I returned to find it lying on the ground in the cold and wet mud, the drive wouldn't work again. All my work in graduate school gone with the wind. Of course, I was more vexed by the over 130 page examination questions that I had typed and with the deadline looming.

Long story, short - I now leave the word distraught alone. Because until one is really fraught with difficulty one wouldn't really appreciate its meaning. I'm done with this particular project, I brought in help to assist but the deadline was moved for me. My grief. It has been one hell of an experience adjusting to the way things work in this country, Nigeria. The power grid is of course the most difficult aspect of our job as it's power dependent. Imagine what this nation of ours will become if the national power authorities worked. We would surely be on our way to being developed. That's it, every year third class, third world country. I took full responsibility for what happened; but I just wonder if one can really survive this country of many missed opportunities owing to power failure. I hadn't been here awhile before it occurred to me that I had to hit the "SAVE" button to continue the entry another time, if EEDC hit again. So far, so good! I think I will end up posting this entry today. I'm learning to leave trouble alone. My UPS is warning me. You got it! EEDC has struck yet again! I love you!

Mia and the Princess Diaries

I have been missing from this blog since last week...and I've been missing in action. This reminds me so much of Mia of the Princess Diaries. You know her, Anne Hathaway, so cool good looking woman in that movie. I caught a few scenes of the movie on Sunday just before EEDC thought it wise to disengage my interest. You ask, why don't just disconnect the national power supply and rest your life and hopes on the generators? I wish you would make my life easier with removing the noise from the generator, perhaps nobody would talk  about heaven any longer. And that would also include making it possible to fetch petrol from the borehole and make the price just as affordable as water. Hmmm...wouldn't that be Nirvana?

 Picture credit: Maybe Netflix :)

How do you like the young lady striking this elegant pose? I like her but the boots? Cough.  Yeah, that's the point. She's a princess but liked the ghetto life. She almost ran away from a life of fun just because it was scary to have so much responsibility. It's like asking me to become the President of Nigeria. Sorry, President Buhari, I'm not interested in stealing your show. I've got a lot on my plate now...maybe.

In my own life, I have been very busy typing out question papers for schools in my area this week. It's the examination season and I have the fortunate (maybe unfortunate fat) instance of being contracted to do the work at what I consider a very modest (no, bad) price given my education and all the corrections I have had to make for them. Anyway, if you don't like them you leave them alone. Abi? That's how it's been. And my computer packed up on me on Wednesday. I had to bring in this IT guy who miraculously rebooted the computer after making some repairs. You see, it's so cool to be educated. I would have been quite distraught if I had lost some files/documents. He's got a Bachelor's degree in Computer Science, the IT guy. What I learnt of Computer Engineering a decade ago wasn't very helpful. Maybe I should add Computer Science to some of the knowledge to acquire in this lifetime. I hope not. Oh! I'm learning MS Word 2007. Can you beat that? I had refused to work with it sticking to Word 2003 (which Microsoft doesn't support any longer) and it's been *tough. It's that thing Igbo say that "agadi nwanyi anaghi amu aka ekpe na nka." You don't learn a new dance in old age. OK. Next!

The movie, Princess Diaries, reminded so much about Coming to America. I almost thought it would be the same plot in the two movies but not really. But some things were similar, like finding a spouse for the royal child or grand child or heir/heiress. It worked out that I will still buy a copy of the movie Princess Diaries 2 and 3 to watch it at my leisure and not count on EEDC to save my sanity. Watching stuff on cable is really fun. You don't have to wonder what to do with all the CDs in your house, after all. So, that's it. I'm back (maybe)! I have to get back to work; some deadlines are fast approaching and I don't want anybody moving their examination dates for me. And don't forget to send Errand Lucy to fetch all your conveniences this weekend. Have a lovely weekend! It's Friday. Relax, strike a pose and have fun.

Ihe mere ede o ji bee nwii

Cocoyam

Yesterday, I posted on Caitlyn Jenner. I'm one of those people who believe that people have the right to their conscience. If Bruce wants to be called Caitlyn so be it. Let me call (now here's the problem) him or her that. Gosh! Am I God? Is there God? Who created me, him and the rest of mankind? This isn't a post on moral philosophy. We can't quit debating the morality of right and wrong, what's right in remaining the way we were created or born? Enough of that mind wandering. What is clear though in everything about life is that something brought another up. It's either the chicken laid the egg or the egg brought the chicken. You tell me. Gini mere ede o ji bee nwii?

This personal cum business cum general interest blog is all about me, Aba, Abia, Nigeria and the rest of the world. Please enjoy rather than endure my Igblish blog. Leave me a comment sometime. I believe that I'm not under any obligations to share more than I need to. It's tough living with the reality of my decisions. Like the decision to keep blogging even when nobody is reading. For many every decision is easy. They have learnt to live with the consequences. I have made some decisions that I don't want to keep any longer. Like keeping my hair in dreadlocks. But some I know are permanent, like not returning to the LDS Church and perhaps religion. This is not to say that issues that led to those decisions are irreconcilable. What if I return to the USA or go to another place where it's OK or even adorable to wear dreadlocks like Jamaica? While the concerns like what does religion mean to me are open to debate, accepting one religion as better than another is quite unacceptable to me.

Caitlyn and the science of choice

I could remember the first time I saw a transgender woman in my life that I didn't know what to say to her. For a few seconds I was bewildered by what I was seeing. At first I thought that "she" was a sort of artist who dressed to impress. This was in Utah in early 2006. I knew about effeminate women back home in Nigeria, but not transgendered women. I was a missionary volunteer working with my now former church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I was battling a few things including perhaps naivety and culture shock. Encounter with this woman was the first time that I missed being enthralled by the transgender phenomenon. If anything, I should have been impressed, but I wasn't. I was merely sympathetic to her choice and wanted more than anything to "change" her mind about what she was saying. And her being. What in the world would make a man want to become a woman? It must be some sort of mental health issue.

You can then imagine why I haven't been so taken in by Bruce Jenner and his decision to become a woman named Caitlyn. What gave? Why did he decide after all these years to do this? I believe that the world would have been less shocked if he had come out gay. Yes, we aren't so shocked anymore when a white man declares he's been gay all his life but had to fit in with societal expectations. But this science experiment with becoming another gender is confounding to say the least. I read a few blog entries where Kris Jenner was reported to have voiced her disbelief or disappointment that she had lived with someone who had always wanted to be somebody else. Hello, it's called self discovery. Bruce Jenner had just discovered after all these years and three marriages (to women) that he would like to become Caitlyn.

The stories have started pouring in and the theorists are busy propounding one hypothesis or the other. Let me join them. I believe that Bruce Jenner started this transformation journey with his association with the Kardashians. It must have been awful living under the camera; having your life beamed on every day and not knowing what privacy meant anymore. If he had to endure all the media attention that his step daughters and wife got, why not try one of his own shows? It must be a difficult thing to live that way and not get much credit for one's efforts. Bruce was a star in his own right. But that wasn't enough. The American society seemed to adore women, giving them all of their investments in personal relationships. Now, what Bruce?

Caitlyn is going to be faced with making decisions. Choices matter here. He's done the huge part aided by science. His nipples don't feel numb anymore. His chest is fuller. He has to think like a woman; and that won't be a big chore. He had been practising that for a very long time. Caitlyn wouldn't have to marry again. And if she (change of person) now decides to become gay, that is marrying a fellow woman (transgender or not), bravo! She could still marry again. Why not? She has done it before; another massive stride in the field of choice. You mean, she won't make the air waves again? That this is it? With yet another marriage either to a man or a woman, Caitlyn will get us talking. Again. Wow! I wonder how it feels to crave attention. It must be a science. There must be formulaes for it because some appear to win better than others at gaining and retaining attention.

As a motivational speaker, I believe the new Bruce needs people to understand that life is about choices. We don't always love all the choices we make - this is the paradox, though - to truly live, we must love our choices. We must make them when we are fully aware of the consequences (or lack thereof) or our fight to make them (choices) bear no consequences. Caitlyn wants attention. She's the new diva. Who needs to live under the shadow of Kris Houghton and her daughters, letting them get all the star prize attention? Mbanu! She too must be nnukwu mmanwu not as a man who will live the rest of his life in regret, but as an Olympian whose goal is to clinch yet another gold medal here. Now for bravery. Do we see her making more money than the Kardashians in the future? Who's going to fund this journey? And the choice to remain a scientific experiment? Would she like to have children at some point? I don't understand the politics behind the science of changing gender. I wonder if she's just going to live her own life or want Kris to know that she's got a rival with the whole LGBT family right behind her. Oh! Kris like the other women are in the past. Hello, to a new world Caitlyn. Let me stop thinking out loud now, because as a woman I should truly be sympathetic to whatever happened to Bruce Jenner.

When life becomes a gridlock

If you live in Aba and you have anything to do with Aba-Owerri Road, you know to avoid it during rush hour. Rush hour is quite popular in many metropolises and known to give traffic jam. This is when everybody who owns a vehicle is on the road going to work or driving the children to school. In Aba, two places gridlock happens all the time almost on a daily basis are Ogbor Hill (at the Waterside bridge at 5pm) and Aba Owerri Road by Union Bank junction. The latter is incurable. Gridlocks have always happened on that road since the '90s. But with constant rehabilitation of the road, it appeared to have abated only to return in recent times. Life sometimes is comparable to Aba-Owerri Road in a gridlock.

Picture credit: tribune.com.pk

Life doesn't always give us what we want. Many of us have had our lives planned out from when we were asked, "What would you like to be when you grow up?" We wanted to be lawyers, doctors, engineers, footballers (don't you think so?), chefs (not popular in Nigeria), or musicians (yes, many of them are super rich, ask DBanj or Don Jazzy). Whatever got us to have such lofty ideals made us happy. We were happy achievers, go-setters even as children. We had vision and passion. We were on the road to achieving our goals. Then life happens.

When life happens we become stuck in the traffic of our intersecting goals. We have many competing things to do, work, family life, education, business, etc. We don't even know when we would become successful. And uh! If we are single and still searching and it doesn't appear that the search is ending soon, life becomes boring and monotonous. We are stuck again in "What would you like to be when you grow up?" Growing up has become a wedge in our dreams.

Gridlocks signal a problem. They don't happen, things bring them up, like in the case of Aba and many cities in Abia state (and even Nigeria): badly maintained roads, and so many cars on a particular route (population density). In life, gridlocks also signal that one is probably in need or reorientation or on the wrong road at a particular time. A detour is in order. Perhaps one needs a career change? Need to consider one's lifestyle and how that is affecting everything else? And relocation might also be in order. Many people have had to move away from cities just to refresh and find meaning again in life. A divorce might give back people's mojo to them. Yes, that eerie topic of moving ahead and finding purpose in another station, even after losing a partner to death or life circumstances.

I don't need to tell you what to do to get you out of Aba-Owerri Road gridlock because it's organic, an early start may be the panacea for you. Try getting up early to beat the traffic or stay home and relax. Somehow the bills will still be paid especially if your are the boss. Life doesn't give us many options with gridlocks, does it?

Know your roots

Medicinal roots have been around for a long time. In Nigeria, we had specialists whose job it was to treat different illnesses with roots and herbs. It was a trade, a skill they had acquired over the years sometimes from their grandparents. However, with the advent of colonialism and the consequent "civilization" orthodox medicine is now the preferred method of treating diseases.I find it rather amusing when people are bothered that educated people take medicinal roots to cure or treat infections. Why are they bothered? Does traditional medicine equate poverty or illiteracy? Of course, I understand the fears around potency, dosage and medicinal roots. But what if there's reason to believe that roots and herbs are equally as useful as chemical medicine?

Recently, I saw an advert for a drink, Your Roots, and wondered what roots it was talking about. The drink claim to contain herbs and about 6% alcohol. I now drink alcohol. Praise the Lord. I'm not quite the social drinker, something below that; occasional drinker, perhaps. And I don't drink too much, please. In fact, I've only been converted to Orijin. I like it but I'm not sure why. Maybe because it's supposed to be medicinal or what, I don't know. This Your Roots drink should be like Orijin, perhaps a close competitor. The drink contains herbs and no roots so, why call it Your Roots? Or are the advertisers asking me to know and trust medicinal roots and traditional medicine? Maybe. Or my genealogy, people and all? My roots.

There are many roots that have been found to be useful to mankind. Ginger is one of them. I find that whenever I have an upset stomach and eat some raw ginger it often helps my case. It's also used in seasoning meat and to flavour drinks. Ginger is good just like garlic.

Many people take pawpaw (papaya) as a fruit. I have learned that its roots can also be medicinal. It's included in the concoction prepared in treating a few infections in both men and women. It's also believed to aid in the treatment of malaria. What other roots do you know? Have you taken any trado-medicine in recent times? How did you resolve/reconcile any reservations you had as an "educated" person turning to your roots for health?